Wow. Crowder’s new album just dropped yesterday and Sirius XM was previewing it the day before. There’s not many albums that I purchase immediately, but THIS was one of them.

This song is impactful and resonates with me on a lot of levels

“There’s a day we’re born
Day we pass
In between there’s just a dash”

Crowder – -{dash] from the album Exile

I just turned the big 5-0 a few months ago… I’m a half of a century old. There comes this realization that you are definitely on the “other” side of the hill and you become more reflective. I can look at it as “it’s all downhill from here” and get a little depressed about lack of youthful flexibility, those fine lines, the weight gain, menopause, and backaches. OR I could look at that “downhill” as more of a “fun” time. Who didn’t love sledding DOWN the hill in the snow? Who isn’t relieved after battling through a walk to crest a hill and realize, the walk just got easier as you walk back down? Those younger years with babies and preschoolers… were HARD! I don’t think I slept through the night for about 2-4 years at one point, I can’t remember… oh yeah, the memory fails, too! LOL.

But at the “middle-age” when you have songs like this to enter the ears stemming from a Sunday sermon… you get more reflective in thinking and as the song states “What on earth am I doing?” We each have a “Born date” and on that tombstone will ultimately also reside a “Passed/Death date”… our LIFE is represented by a mere DASH. So what are we doing to be more impactful while we are here? What am I doing to serve my Father in Heaven? Am I being a good enough friend? Am I being a good enough mom? Am I being a good enough daughter, wife, sister? Am I only “good enough”?

Life has thrown me some real curve balls lately. Obviously we were all impacted by the pandemic and I had good and steady work through it, but sadly that work eventually fizzled and I signed on with another company I’d been following for a while that looked really “cool”. I was employed with them and found a whole new uplifting “tribe” with high energy and truly enjoyed the work I was doing helping small businesses. However, young companies often suffer growing pains and a few months ago, I along with 5 others were on the chopping block merely because “I need to save on payroll”.

It broke my heart. I put a lot into my work and sometimes I think I over-due it. The leadership highly encouraged this work, work, work, work ethic and I tend to wonder if I was getting so “sucked it” that God had a hand in it to redirect me back to family and friends. I had a dear friend to even rebuke me to say, “I know your trying to make money, but I need you now…” Which brings me back to these lyrics:

I could take this life
And live it well
Or I could keep on living it for myself
What’s He gonna say when He calls me up?
Was I just words
Or was I love
Did I love great or just good enough
I just hope He says well done

I keep on wondering what I’m chasing
Don’t want another minute wasted

Crowder – -{dash] from the album Exile

Did I love great or just good enough? I want to be remembered for having loved my family, my friends GREAT. I want to hear “Well done,” when I meet my Savior and my time is limited… it’s just a “dash”. What am I doing today to improve myself and who I am as a person?

I’m still without steady income. I worked with another start-up, but they, too had growing pains as they just hadn’t perfected their sales system for their very niche market. So it’s back to trying to build my own business with StudioThought. I took a two-year hiatus from building it while following after something I thought would take me long-term, but failed to do so.

Now, God is working on me, reshaping me, refocusing me… helping me work through the bitterness and unforgiving feelings towards what I’d put my hope in previously. And THAT, I realize now, was the problem. I had put a lot of my hope in some person owning a glitzy company that I got to be a part of for a short time, rather than putting 100% of my hope on Christ. I let myself veer off God’s path.

Recently, I had some really GREAT job interviews lately, but they’ve all failed to result in steady employment (i.e. steady income). I truly feel God wants me to be right where I’m at and he will continue to provide a few jobs here at there at this time… jobs that will somewhat sustain, and that I’m trusting will result in slightly bigger and better projects down the road. Life is just a “dash”… let’s not focus on the past and let’s not be so focused on the future, that you forget to live in the present!

Blessings to you, and thank you DAVID CROWDER for a phenomenal album! Be sure to check it out! I make nothing from a purchase, but highly recommend it: https://generalstore.crowdermusic.com/products/the-exile-digital-album

LYRICS to ” – [DASH]” by David Crowder

Sunday mornin’
Preacher said
Life’s a mist it’s just a breath
We’re only here for a little while
He talked about
His daddy’s grave
It read 1910 to ’98
But the years between were just a little line

Got me wondering what I’m chasing
Don’t want another minute wasted

There’s a day we’re born
Day we pass
In between there’s just a dash
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing
Yeah I got time
But time goes fast
Yeah that line is all I have
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing

I could take this life
And live it well
Or I could keep on living it for myself
What’s He gonna say when He calls me up?
Was I just words
Or was I love
Did I love great or just good enough
I just hope He says well done

I keep on wondering what I’m chasing
Don’t want another minute wasted

There’s a day we’re born
Day we pass
In between there’s just a dash
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing
Yeah I got time
But time goes fast
Yeah that line is all I have
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing

Cause real life’s in the trenches, not from the stands
In our lofty benches with manicured hands
I want a dash that’s dirty, a life fully spent
Weathered and scarred from all the life that I lived
The times that we go out of our way
To paint beautiful blue over somebody’s grey
When we stopped and defended injustice
Or sanded the heart of a friend that got rusted
I don’t know my number or year that I’ll pass
From this cold world to the kingdom that lasts
But carpe diem it’s worth it …to live it not blur it
Or years could fly by and you still ain’t met purpose

There’s a day we’re born
Day we pass
In between there’s just a dash
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing
Yeah I got time
But time goes fast
Yeah that line is all I have
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing

Life’s short, but a vapor
What you gonna do, what you gonna do with yours
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing
What on earth am I doing